I had a terrible November 2nd. By terrible-day scales it was a 10 on the most superficial levels. It couldve been much worse and in the bigger picture, i realise I am going to have much worse days. I do appreciate that i have to be thankful im healthy and everyone you love is healthy. But still, it was a pretty shit day.
I repeatedly throw myself into situations where it is almost impossible to succeed, yipee im one of those. then i beat myself up if i dont succeed. That would all be ok, if i enjoyed all these impossible challenges but problem is i dont always like doing what im trying so hard to do. And this is where the blackpepper theory comes in; for almost a year i convinced myself i liked blackpepper. Why? Because someone important to me liked it. After a year of putting it on every dish and truly thinking i enjoyed the taste and my life was better from black pepper; one otherwise normal day i sprinkled black pepper on my tagliatelle alfredo only to realize that i fucking hate it. Always have, always will.
Today, i can honestly say i am demotivated, despirited and confused. People talk about having this clarity about what you want to work in; I dont. so i really really hope, this is another example of the blackpepper theory. Because if it isnt, and if no moment of clarity on what i want to do for work, and hence for the most part of my life, comes. then i am royally screwed.
I repeatedly throw myself into situations where it is almost impossible to succeed, yipee im one of those. then i beat myself up if i dont succeed. That would all be ok, if i enjoyed all these impossible challenges but problem is i dont always like doing what im trying so hard to do. And this is where the blackpepper theory comes in; for almost a year i convinced myself i liked blackpepper. Why? Because someone important to me liked it. After a year of putting it on every dish and truly thinking i enjoyed the taste and my life was better from black pepper; one otherwise normal day i sprinkled black pepper on my tagliatelle alfredo only to realize that i fucking hate it. Always have, always will.
Today, i can honestly say i am demotivated, despirited and confused. People talk about having this clarity about what you want to work in; I dont. so i really really hope, this is another example of the blackpepper theory. Because if it isnt, and if no moment of clarity on what i want to do for work, and hence for the most part of my life, comes. then i am royally screwed.
